


your apocalypse and you

by starryeyedknight



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Gen, Introspection, Sibling Bonding, dealing with the apocalypse with humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:22:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29043063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starryeyedknight/pseuds/starryeyedknight
Summary: Luther and Five review doomsdays. There's been a lot of them by now.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	your apocalypse and you

AN: originally for the tumblr tuactober challenge ' _#1 - doomsday_ ' - Luther and Five killing time reviewing doomsdays, some time post S2. 

  


\- 

  


“So this is it, huh?” Luther squints out into the vastness of the desolation before them. Swirling eddies of dust and radiation churn together over abandoned streets; the charred remains of the human race litters the sidewalk. The end, as some would say, is no longer nigh; it has well and truly nighed.

Beyond the rubble an indifferent sun sets, its dying light coursing over a thinner and far lonelier atmosphere. Five has no idea what day they’ve come to, what year. Time has officially stopped. Every day is Doomsday now.

He wonders if some condescending prick at the Commission has that printed on a motivational poster. With a kitten hanging from a branch, most likely.

“Looks that way.” Five jams his hands in his pockets and wishes, not for the first time in this particular timeline, that he’d brought some sort of hipflask. “Myself, I preferred the Soviet Doomsday myself. Nice and clean, over in an instant – poof! – put the poor old earth out of its misery.”

Luther slides him a cool look. “You always were a sentimentalist, weren’t you?”

“I try my best.”

Without much ado they begin walking down the streets of their wrecked hometown, Luther taking the time to point out sites of their fonder memories as they pass. None still standing, of course. That time Klaus rode his bike down Elm Avenue naked. That little theatre where we all went to hear Vanya’s recital together for the first time. Griddy’s Doughnuts; oh look at that, it’s still on fire.

Five is almost grateful for the big lug’s chattering. It had been his idea to jump timelines, admittedly, but he’s damned if he knows whether this will actually _work._ Luther’s oblivious, determined cheer, his solid determination to make the best of it is – dare he say it – comforting.

“So you think this is the first one? The one you ended up at in the beginning, I mean.”

“Certainly looks like the same pile of shit I arrived at, yeah. I’m starting to lose count. That one we triggered in the Sparrow timeline – artificial intelligence gone rogue and taking over the planet? – that was just _trite_ , you know?”

“Ah, they don’t make Doomsdays like they used to.”

Five squints suspiciously. Is Luther making a _joke_ , here at the end of all things?

(Well. Maybe not _all_ things. If there’s anything a seasoned time traveller such as himself has learned, it’s that very little actually ends.)

“The super-volcano was an impressive one.”

“I’ll admit, it did cause some impressive sunsets – but the explosion at the biotech lab? Or the pandemic? Being cooped up with Diego learning the ukulele for nine straight months?”

“Not my favourite timeline,” Luther admits. “But if we’re picking ‘worst Doomsday ever’, my vote goes to the invasion.”

“Ah, the incursion of Dad’s _people_ ,” Five’s lips curl in a sneer, “his so-called _extra-terrestrial brethren._ Funny, we would have made it out of that one if Klaus hadn’t accidentally declared war on their planet; Vanya didn’t even have anything to do with it.”

“A Doomsday without Vanya,” Luther says, with feigned solemnity, “is like a day without sunshine. A night without stars.”

“Klaus without inebriation.”

“Exactly.”

They exchange smiles. They’re small, but they’re there.

After some time they come to rest at the ruins of what had once been the local courthouse, now reduced to dust and rubble. Luther sits; Five nearly collapses. He’d like to think he’s seen a few things, become used to the realities of the world in ways which his infant siblings still seem incapable of – he’s a bit of a cynical bastard, truth be told. But the sight of the world he loves continuously burning to a crisp, and always because of them, _over and over_ …

Silently Luther holds out something. It is, Five is stunned to realise, a flask of coffee.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

They take it in turns to sip silently from the flask.

“You know, I’ve always been on my own when these things go off,” Five says quietly. “Bomb drops, Academy crumbles, freaky four-eyed fish-aliens invade, it’s always been me on my own, fixing the mess. And I told myself it was better that way. After all, if the emotionally stunted idiots were the ones to _cause_ the apocalypse, what the hell were they going to do to end it?”

He sighs. But: _What the hell. It’s the end of the world._

“But it’s good to have you at this one, Luther. I’m glad you came.”

Luther’s face splits into one of those rare, blinding, staring-into-the-sun grins. “Thanks, buddy.”

“Anytime.”

It really is damn good coffee.


End file.
